From my column in Body+Soul
Question:"My husband and I don't 'make love' anymore, we seem to just get it over with. We've been married for 15 years and are pretty happy, all things considered. But we both work, and we have two young kids (both under 10), so there's not really much time or energy left over for a raging sex life. I don't necessarily want 'firework-sex' all the time, but I do hope we can get back to being more tender, more connected, and yes, do more cuddling afterwards! Where do we start?"
Answer: Your situation is so common. In fact, I think you’d be hard-pressed to find a couple who have been together for 15 years with young kids who haven’t had to deal with the issues of limited time and energy and the impact it has on their sex life. I see couples like you every day at my clinic. The ‘we love each other but have lost our mojo’ clients would have to be my largest category of client.
It sounds like you understand the importance of sexual connection, and want to have sex, but want better quality. That’s a great place to start, some people just give up at this stage, so it’s good to hear that you haven’t. Sex, or as you rightly... read more